In a twist that shocked absolutely no one, Donald Trump wooed the non-college crowd yet again, proving you don’t need a degree to be a fan of flashy real estate and Twitter wisdom.
Tag: Politics
Kamala Harris Claims Monumental Vermont Win: Margin Shockingly Requires New Zip Code
In a win so large it could stand up and wave, Kamala Harris baffles Vermont voters and mathematicians alike with an unthinkable margin of victory that’s wreaking havoc on calculators everywhere.
Kamala Harris Sweeps New York with Double-Digit Victory, Leaving Opponents in Existential Dread
Kamala Harris trumps the competition in New York, leaving rivals questioning their life choices while voters relish democracy like a Black Friday sale.
North Carolina Reaffirms Its Republican Roots: An Unpredictably Predictable Victory
North Carolina snugly wraps itself in a familiar red blanket, as voters opt for nostalgia over novelty in the 2024 election. And no, this isn’t déjà vu—just history repeating itself with a knowing nod.
Texas Stays True to the Right: Republicans Keep Claim to the Lone Star State
In a tale as old as cowboy boots, Texas once again swung Republican, leaving Democrats wondering if there’s enough brisket to cure electoral blues.
Democrat Claims Michigan Senate Seat: A Political Plot Twist More Attention-Grabbing Than a Cat Video
With Democrats dancing and Republicans reconsidering their strategies, Michigan’s Senate race leaves everyone wondering: could democracy and comedy really mix as perfectly as coffee and donuts?
Donald Trump Stuns Yet Again: Wins 2024 Election, Chaos Ensues!
In another episode of America’s favorite political reality show, Donald Trump has been declared the victor of the 2024 Presidential Election, leaving the nation in both shock and a collective shrug.
RFK Jr. Opts for Paperweight Career After Monumental 2024 Election Loss
Discover the unforeseen hilarity as a Kennedy attempts congress and ends up with less electoral enthusiasm than a library card.
Republican Gallops to Victory in Montana Senate Race: Surprise, Surprise!
In a shockingly predictable twist, Montana voters once again donned their favorite red congress boots and said “Yeehaw!” to Republican domination. Who needs a blue wave when you’ve got a perfect shade of Montana red?
Democrats Reclaim Virginia: A Political Drama as Unpredictable as a Soap Opera
In Virginia, drama unfolds with all the suspense of waiting for toast to pop, as Democrats ride a wave of enthusiasm in the 2024 presidential race. Who knew democracy could be both riveting and utterly predictable?