November 5, 2024 — Santa Fe, New Mexico — Politics
Once again proving that predicting the weather might be harder than politics in the Land of Enchantment, New Mexico has filled its electoral plate with a generous helping of Democratic fervor in the 2024 Presidential Election. That’s right, folks, as sure as green chilies on your breakfast burrito, New Mexico remains as blue as ever!
With prestigious media giants like the Associated Press, Fox News, and NBC dusting off their crystal balls, they collectively announced that the Democratic candidate walked effortlessly away with New Mexico’s loyal embrace. One might assume they all shopped at the same store for their news stencils.
The streets of Santa Fe erupted with joyful Democrats, who partied like they’d stumbled upon an endless queso fountain. Among the clamor, chants akin to “We made democracy happen!” echoed through the night, conjuring images of a jubilant family reunion with far fewer embarrassing haircuts but slightly more political banter.
However, let us not make light of the spectacle series unfolding. What the Democrats threw in downtown Santa Fe was not just a victory shindig; it was a perfectly orchestrated flash mob with sequins, jazz hands, and a nod to every mail-in ballot that made it count. Some critics couldn’t help but compare the Republican absence to a comedy act without a punchline—always present, never quite hitting the mark.
The Republican reps, meanwhile, clung to their political life rafts, mumbling something about stepping up their game in this blue desert. “Our strategy next time? More seeds, fewer tumbleweeds,” remarked one GOP strategist, preferring to remain incognito, perhaps to dodge metaphorical tomatoes thrown by his comrades.
This Democratic win might just pair nicely with a side of fiesta nachos, as the state proudly smothers itself in layers of turquoise-themed bliss. Tune in to your regular news providers for more bite-sized updates, because nothing says democratic exercise quite like watching half a nation try not to set off its political alarms.