FTX’s payout promises have expired faster than a bodega milk carton, leaving investors with nothing but unfulfilled dreams and a funny yet futile hope for refunds.
Category: December 2024
Israel and Hezbollah Hit Pause on Conflict: Ceasefire Kicks Off a New Year of Surprises
In the most epic truce since toddlers agreed to share, Israel and Hezbollah have startlingly agreed to stop their missile ping-pong game in favor of diplomacy. Yes, peace is the new black this New Year!
Inside Out 2: The Animated Emotional Rollercoaster That Smashed 2024 Box Office Records
Get ready to laugh, cry, and reconsider your life choices! Inside Out 2 has conquered 2024’s box office, proving yet again that emotions aren’t just for therapy sessions—they’re for raking in cash by the billions.
OpenAI Declares 2024 the Year of Loud Silence: No GPT-5 in Sight
In a year filled with whispers and wild guesses, OpenAI’s biggest announcement is no announcement at all. Grab a seat and an AI-brewed coffee as tech enthusiasts come to grips with a year of anticipated nothingness.
Solana’s 2024 Dwelling: A Year Below Expectations and Wallets Left Hungry
Solana fans watched with bated breath as their digital darling spent 2024 lounging below the ambitious $259.90 mark, leaving crypto aficionados with little more than a tale of hope and hindsight.
Breaking: Fed’s 25 Basis Points Interest Rate Cut – Economists and Baristas Braced for Impact!
The Fed pulled a sitcom-worthy stunt today with a 25 basis point rate cut. Brace yourself: it’s like a financial tightrope act over a pit of crocodiles!
Swell Unveils Tokeniferous Gigantor: Because Who Doesn’t Love Free Crypto Confetti?
Swell has thrown a crypto party to end all crypto parties with their Tokeniferous Gigantor airdrop, gleefully saving tech junkies from holiday boredom and possibly tax complications!
Hurricane Season 2024 Wraps Up with 19 Named Storms; Still No Sign of the Elusive Steve
In a dazzling whirlwind tour of chaos, the 2024 hurricane season showcases 19 named storms, leaving us wondering if Steve will ever get a shot!
Frogs Leap Over Dogs: $PEPE Reaches $10 Billion Valuation, Meme Masters Rejoice
In a digital duel stranger than a trampoline park congress, $PEPE hops over $WIF, solidifying the frog’s place on the crypto throne. Ribbit, anyone?